we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
