He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Randomize
