I've blown a few things in my day
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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