I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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