Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
