remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
