She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
