Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
