I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
