I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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