he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
How's work?
Spinning.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize