I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
