i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize