just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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