I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
And then my night got REAL pukey
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
