Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
