I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
