Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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