if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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