Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
