Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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