so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize