Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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