They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
