She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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