Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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