I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
