respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
