Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
