someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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