did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
