I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
