just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
