Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
