I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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