Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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