if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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