i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
