There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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