doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
