So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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