THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
