Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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