took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
