accomplished twins. life is a go
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
