My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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