Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
