i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We have started to decorate penises.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
