R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
