i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
