Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
