so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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