You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
