Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I forgot wine drunk hurts
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
