she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
