dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i out mim tonsoeep
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