You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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