You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
