Me too!
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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