So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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